Travel Anxiety

I’m not sure when it creeped into my life as a facet of my personality, but at some point I realized that get traveling anxiety. Only when I’m traveling alone, however. It could simply be that I’ve done very little traveling on my own before. There is some reasonable fear in traveling alone. I am a woman, and to some degree defenseless. So I am careful. But the anxiety was always in other things – was I on the right bus? Would I wind up in the middle of nowheresville with no one to save me? Would I burst into tears? It was always the worst if I had never been that way before. I would research before hand, pour over maps etc, but the anxiety would be like a ball in the pit of my stomach, and wouldn’t go away, and would typically last in the days leading up to a trip, during the trip and all the way home until I was same in my abode once again.

YET, something has changed recently. It’s not that I know where I’m going all of the time, or that I don’t wander like a tourist in some of the bus stations but after seeing a blind guy do it recently, I realized, I have eyesight, and if the world can look after him when he asks “Is this eastbound?” then certainly I can be provided for, moreover, “Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love?” (Ph.2.1 ) God is with me, I should not be afraid).

Easier said than done, but on my recent trip to Hamilton for the first time ever I was at peace. I found it relaxing, not tiring. I wasn’t tense, I wasn’t waiting for it to be over (sorry friends in Hamilton! It’s not you, I promise!). I was just glad to be there, and when I realized I had printed out the morning instead of the evening schedule, I remained rather calm, and having a cell phone, was still able to coordinate meeting up. There was no rush, there was no feeling of being unsafe. And I had a great, great time.

When I’m alone, I’ve finally started slowing down. Not pounding my feet on the pavement as I speedwalk to my destination. Not letting my guard down, or keeping my ears peeled when it’s past dark, but enjoying the walk a bit more, enjoying the travel, people-watching, and just being ok with it. It’s been good for me.

I have too many gray hairs. I need to learn to be less stressed.