I gotta learn this woman

Her name is Ann Voskamp. I had never heard of her until a couple weeks ago.

This is her blog. http://www.aholyexperience.com/

Warning: there is music that automatically plays.

She’s kind of mind blowing, if you can get past the initial culture-shock that is her poetic style and the whole stay-at-home-mom living-in-the-country farmer’s-wife thing.

I need to learn as much as I can from her. Because already, from reading the first chapter of her book, and watching this video (for which she took the photos), and reading a few of her blogs, I’ve changed my perspective on life. In little bits. But those little bits are significant enough to make me feel joy; that feeling that life is ok. I’m starting to see the light instead of just the darkness. And it’s really good.

I really, really want her book. It comes out in Canada in February. Nine dollars is probably the cheapest I’ll get it here (+$4 shipping), but Amazon.com has it for $9 and there’s the free super-saver shipping if I order $16 more of stuff (but does that work for international?) I’m also contemplating downloading free Kindle software and only paying $8.68 from Amazon.com for the Kindle edition.

To be honest, the reason why I haven’t bought it already isn’t the cost, it’s that I have a tendency to dislike things I impulse buy. If I buy this so soon after discovering her, I fear I’ll never read it. I’m reading something else right now, and it may sound odd but I think I’d be distracted by “the other book” if I interrupted it to read hers. And if I did put her book on the shelf until I’m done what I’m reading, I’d know it was there – waiting – and I’d build anticipation, and then expectation, and then I’d fear it’d disappoint so never read it, or I’d start it and it’d be so good I wouldn’t put it down and then give myself an information overload and retain nothing. I want to finish reading the book I’m reading now (C.S. Lewis’s The Silent Planet), and wait, and make sure I still really want to read it, and then, take it slow. Wait for it. When it arrives, read it on my ride to and from work, and make it last. And I don’t think I want to read it on the computer… I want to let it sink in while I’m sitting curled up on the couch. Holding a book feels good.

Yes. Books require serious thought and planning.

Naomi

Today I fell in love with a girl. Her name is Naomi. She is a week old. She has tiny fingernails. And a tiny nose. And little eyes that squint and probably can’t see much yet. And she squirms and makes faces.

Right now she gets a lot of face time with people. Mostly mom, of course, but Daddy, too. And she looks around and waves her arms and her tiny hand will grab your finger. And she poops and cries, makes sounds and sticks out her tongue. And falls asleep a lot.

I want to get to know her. To see her grow. Get taller and heavier and stronger. To see her learn. To see her toddle. To have her recognize my face.

I am very happy to have met her today. I can’t wait until I see her again.